“I have no one to help me”. 

I’ve fixed my mouth to murmur those words all while looking for hands.

Hands out to help me up

You know, pull me out of the pit I’ve been wallowing in.

Hands that pity, hands that pet

Hands that won’t poke or prod.

Hands that stroke and wash all my worries away.

Hands that coddle with heads that nod

Nod in agreement at the fact that my pain is profound

My suffering is substantial

My trials have been tremendous

Knees weak and back bended, this is the posture of my soul.

The only problem was my Savior.

Who asked me a question.

Thats right …a question.

My first resort was offense.

“A question isn’t what I need. Don’t you see, the antidote to my misfortune is consolation, condolence, and comfort.”

“As a matter of fact…

…Where is your hand?” I asked.

“Do you want to be made whole?”, He reiterated.

Now this time I heard it echo in my soul.

It confronted everything in my psyche.

His question, followed by a command…

“Take up your bed and walk!”

My bed? My comfortable cot?

I’ve laid in this oppression my entire life.

I don’t even know how to walk upright.

I need a hand.

This affliction has imprisoned me.

You speak as though I have the key.

Like freedom is reality.

Take up my bed and walk?

I took a good look at my surroundings.

The same old song whistled in my ear.

It plays in the background of my life both day and night.

The song of my own entitlement and excuses grew louder in my ear.

It haunted me.

I mustered up every bit of strength I had

Hands on the ground to support the lifting up of my own weight.

One foot at a time.

Right

Left

wobble

teeter

totter

Occasionally reaching out for a hand that wasn’t there.

Jehovah undergirded my effort.

Thought I would fall but he lifted me

off of the ground.

And gave me enough strength to turn around and pick up my bed.

For the first time

in forever

I walked.

“Jesus saith unto him, Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.”

“And immediately the man was made whole, and took up his bed, and walked: and on the same day was the sabbath.”

John 5:8-9